Arteta is lucky, not clever. But Arsenal will still be champions again…

Mikel Arteta is pinned as one of the Premier League’s luckiest managers, but all the predictions point to Arsenal as back-to-back title winners…

That’s assuming Alexandre Pato doesn’t whisk Bruno Guimaraes off to Northampton first.

As ever, get your mails in to theeditor@football365.com…

Lucky Arteta

I don’t believe in luck. People find it too easy to blame it for their own shortcomings. Blame luck and you never have to fix what actually matters.

So, all of that being said, Mikel Arteta is one seriously lucky son of a behatch. How many clubs would give you five or six years, let you spend a billion pounds (I mean come on now) , win nothing except for one poxy FA Cup and still be utterly secure in your position?

Not my own team Liverpool. Arne Slot had more success in one season than Arteta had done in his career to date, on an expenditure of basically arse all. And he got fired a year later. Impossible to envisage at the time and I was right there with the decision when it happened. Fickle beasts, football fans. But had that been Arsenal, Slot would have been going nowhere for years after.

Jose Mourinho is *still* the most successful post Sir Alex Utd manager and he won a decent haul of trophies and came runner up – still wasn’t enough. He didn’t get half the backing and patience Arteta has had.

Pep won everything, broke every record and left on his own terms – good for him. But Arteta didn’t beat *that *. Pep. He beat a Pep who’d burnt out and had enough. Even then Arteta almost arsed it up.

Jurgen also burnt out and left on his own terms. I for one would have welcomed him that this summer like the returning Messiah. But for all that, his legacy isn’t unbeatable – as is Pep’s, as is Sir Alex’s. He won everything once and he won it playing well. Lost a lot too though, usually to City or Real Madrid. Even so his position was secure, but he had won everything as I mentioned and more importantly, we couldn’t improve on him.

Every other manager of the big 6 in the last 15 years- all fired, all in much less time than Arteta had, all spending considerably less, some having won considerably more.

That’s lucky.

Now he’s in a position to bore his way to another couple of titles – yay, lucky football – and his position will become a lifetime gig, trading off past glories for decades like Wenger.

Lucky, lucky, luck. Which I still don’t really believe in, with the enormous exception of him.

Helps that he’s such a dislikeable arse too mind you, with one of football’s most punchable faces. James, Liverpool

Arsenal again, ole ole

Am I too early or late with the new predictions for the coming season? Here’s my final league table in May 2027:

1 (C) Arsenal (CL semis) 2 Manchester United (CL last 16) 3 Manchester City (CL quarter-finals) 4 Aston Villa (CL last 16) 5 Chelsea 6 Liverpool (FA Cup winners, CL quarter-finals) 7 Brighton (Europa Conference League winners) 8 Brentford 9 Bournemouth (Europa League semi-finals) 10 Everton (Carabao Cup winners) 11 Tottenham Hotspur 12 Fulham 13 Leeds 14 Sunderland (Europa League quarter-finals) 15 Nottingham Forest 16 Coventry City 17 Newcastle United 18 (R) Crystal Palace (Europa League quarter-finals) 19 (R) Ipswich Town 20 (R) Hull City

Setting my own expectations if nothing else (LFC). We won’t challenge the league as we’ll be wildly inconsistent, but I think we might collect a cup. Nobody will touch Arsenal this year. And I reckon it’s finally time that Everton won something besides the 4th shittest team award.

Kudos points for Newcastle being utterly pants and Palace being worse and going down.

Thanks Somerset Dave

… Samuel painted a lovely picture yesterday. I imagine the secret Premier League cabal being much like Dr. Evil’s Virtucon Corp Board except that they all dress like Frau Farbissina. Any idea who they’re selecting to win the league this year, Sam? I’d like to place a bet of (dum-dum-dum-dum) one hundred BILLION dollars. Splitsies, swearsies.

Stone-solid Predicklements (honestly, sell the house, find a bookie, weez all gonna be rich, Meemaw) To win it all: We are the team in red and white, Ar-se-nal. Also in a lovely collegiate blue with gold and red accents and a zig-zag overlay, but that doesn’t scan unfortunately. Best losers: City, Liverpool, Chelsea; no further notes. Going down, downtown, but not in a fun way: None of Coventry, Ipswich or Hull will be able to save themselves. Not even if they bribe the cabal, not even if they kidnap Mr. Bigglesworth, not even if they set Mr. Bigglesworth on the cabal and kidnap Pep. Pleasant surprise: I hate this category, it’s blah (see ‘Michael Carrick’ below). So, because apparently everyone has to get a ribbon, Tottenham. They might even win a cup. Not one of the nice ones, mind. Golden Boot: If Haaland doesn’t win this then the entire league should be drug-tested to see what the hell went wrong. Signing of the season: I assume this is for the player whose talent surprises in a good way and not an Ali Dia memorial award of some kind. Therefore, probably someone that Bournemouth or Brighton sign for the change they find under their carseat (a ‘nineteen-year-old’ ostensibly from Africa but in actuality from that clone factory they jointly run in, oh I dunno, let’s say Corby). Worst signing of the season: The worst signing of this off-season remains Arsenal’s signing of Kepa last off-season. This will continue to be the case until Kepa invents a time machine and travels back to June 30th 2025 where he retires with immediate and permanent effect. First Gaffer Binned: Personal preference would be Carrick, I suppose. Not out of spite – I can’t rustle up enough emotion to genuinely hate him. He is the used tissue of football managers; did the job asked of him quite admirably but now is all wet and full of boogers, and everyone knows that you can buy a whole box of new ones for a pound. Or Glassner, poor bastard; that there would be a mercy killing, Early.

Always willing to talk film rights. King Rat (Happily witness protected) Low Orbit Hoverhouse #4

Out on a limb

So I took Jack’s advice, went down the bookies and put a fiver on all his predictions. To recap, Man U won’t win the Prem, Arsenal will, Haaland carries off the golden boot and the three newly promoted three sides go straight back down. I also put a cheeky pound on the sun rising in the east tomorrow. Slightly disappointed by the odds they offered me but, still, if they all come in I should be up 13 pence and that’s better than a poke in the eye. Cheers, Jack. Matt Pitt

Duck and Cobblers